New Year’s is here. Again.

And it feels different this year.

Normally I love this time of year. Normally it feels full of hope. Even the year that I’d just given birth and was barely sleeping. Even last year.

Maybe it’s that we thought this would be over by now. Maybe it’s that I haven’t written any fiction in a month. Maybe it’s the extreme stress of this past holiday season (by far the most stressful I’ve ever experienced.) Maybe it’s another thing I don’t want to talk about yet.

But whatever it is, 2021 hit harder than 2020. 2020 felt like a time capsule year, where every small pleasure was to be savored. This year felt like … like it should have been more, and yet somehow it was less.

I almost didn’t write this post. I’m well aware I didn’t accomplish many of the things I wanted to this year. But then I opened up wordpress, looked at my last year’s new year’s post, and decided to go for it.

Maybe that’s the key. Just open up the page, and see if something comes out.

So here were my resolutions at the start of 2021, when I was so certain this year would be better than the last.

How’d I do?

1. Write 20 hours per week I was on track for this until about a month ago, when everything fell apart. I’d like to get back to this goal in 2022.
2. Increase my drafting output to 2,000 words/day, on average, using this method According to my stats, my average word count when drafting was 1754 words. Not bad.
3. Turn this into an official author website I did this, actually, with a static cover page and everything.
4. Start a writerly Instagram I did this, too, though updating it is another story. Hoping to improve on this in the New Year as well.
5. Limit social media scrolling to one hour per day. I mean it this time! Ugh. No.
6. Run or walk 3 times per week I was doing this until summer, when we moved and it felt like life became infinitely more difficult.
7. Do yoga 3 times per week I was managing close to twice a week, again before the move.
8. Do pelvic floor exercises 3 times per week Ha ha ha ha ha
9. Drink 10 glasses of water per day I tried.
10. Find new music to listen to instead of just the same stuff over and over. One new song per week. Haha. Nope.
11. Weekly date nights with my husband. Nope.
12. Book two more freelance jobs. Did this! Now I’d like all the massive amounts of work coming my way to slow down, please, so I can have time to write and exercise and do all the other things again.
13. Finish the drafts of three new books. Yes, THREE!. LOL what was I on???? THREE books in ONE year? I did finish (and revise extensively) my YA woodsy thriller, as well as made it 75% through the beachy thriller, about 50% perhaps through the adult thriller, as well as toyed with a few other stories here and there. But nothing is complete except the woodsy thriller. Next year!
14. Buy a house*** We did this, and I am infinitely grateful for it, though sometimes the phrase be careful what you wish for runs through my head. Houses are WORK. Not living in someone else’s house means you actually have to take care of all the things. (Not to mention, you no longer have someone in the next room who can watch your child while you do take care of all the things.)
15. Sell a book**** Nope. Not even mad at myself for this. Publishing is brutal, man
16. Journal every month. Nope.
17. Write down things to be happy about every week. Definitely not.
18. Use my DSLR once a month. LOL.
19. Post to this blog every month! LOLOL.
20. Read 52 books this year! LOLOLOL. Record low reading numbers this year. Maybe I should give audiobooks a shot again?
21. And I’m going to say it again … but I still would like to develop the strength do a headstand without using the wall! Yeah, no, didn’t happen.

But weirdly … typing all this out did make me feel better. I know blogging’s a lost art these days and I’m better off making videos about all this sh*t (I will NEVER) but even if I’m just shouting into the void, I think that’s okay.

I did have goals. I did meet some of them. And actually after writing all of this … I am a bit more motivated to make new ones for the new year.

Let’s just see if I have some time in which to do it!

Photo by Dawid Zawiła on Unsplash